If you are feeling suicidal
If you are feeling suicidal now you may be feeling very alone, lost, frightened, confused. You may be feeling there is no other way out of your problem, difficulties, worries, feelings, or whatever reason you are contemplating taking your life.
It may be that at the moment you are so overcome with feelings, sadness, despair, that you are not able to think clearly about other possibilities, other solutions, other alternatives, other ways of coping.
Suicide is very final - if you succeed in taking your life - there are no second chances and nobody really knows what will happen when they die. It may be difficult to take in at this moment in time but the feelings you have at the moment may be temporary - you may not always feel like this. There are people who have been in exactly the same position as you but who somehow found a way to survive and now thrive and have gone on to find happiness and fulfilment in life and to be able to cope with life more easily - they have found alternatives to suicide and were glad that they did not take their own life.
You may feel like this now because the pain you are feeling has become unbearable. Just talking to someone else about how you are feeling can take some of that weight off your shoulders. There may be other things you can do to help yourself cope, to change things, to survive. It is incredibly sad that you feel so bad that you want to die. You may be telling yourself that other people would be better off without you but other people would not want you to take your life.
You may feel that nobody cares about you anyway but there are people who will care if you allow them to care for you. I care deeply that you are thinking of ending your life, that you see no hope, no alternative, but something so final as death.
You may be trying to convince yourself that your loved ones would be better off without you but if you were able to see the devastation that it causes families and friends of people who take their own lives you would not think that.
If you cannot see for yourself a reason to carry on living try and give others the chance to explore with you whether they can help you to see if there are any reasons for you to carry on living - give someone a chance to do that for you. You have nothing to lose. If you are determined to kill yourself there is no hurry - there is no need to take immediate action. Give yourself the next few days to see whether there are any alternatives, talk to a friend, a relative, a helpline, a counsellor, look at some of the websites where other people have felt suicidal but found alternatives to killing themselves. There are alternatives to suicide so give yourself some time to find some support, some help with coping and talk to others about how you are really feeling. Allow others to care for you just as you would if your best friend came and told you he/she was suicidal - talk to yourself as you would a friend.
If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.
Agencies which provide support and information
Andy's Man Club
Men's Mental Health Support Groups running throughout the UK
Talking Groups for men who have either been through a storm, are currently going through a storm or have a storm brewing in life.
Details of emotional support centres in countries throughout the world.
Befrienders Worldwide centres provide an open space for those in distress to talk and be heard. This is via telephone helplines, SMS messaging, face to face, internet chat, outreach and local partnerships.
Breaking The Silence SF
A website for suicidal people and those in mental health crisis
Online forums, chat, information and support
Campaign Against Living Miserably Help and support for young men aged 15-35 on issues which include depression and suicide.
Directions for Men
07894 971 434
Directions For Men provides groups for men to come and talk about whatever it is that is affecting their mental health. They support each other through difficult times and they help each other by talking about what worked for us when we were going through difficult times. Directions For Men want to get men doing things they enjoy so they also get activities and events off the ground for you to attend and participate in and meet a new bunch of mates.What they do is called peer support. That is people with similar backgrounds and experiences looking out for each other.
0800 068 4141
For practical advice on suicide prevention and support to under 35s.
Mental health charity providing anonymous and non-clinical safe spaces for men to not only talk but to listen and connect on a regular basis. The HUMEN Space is preventative, practical and plain speaking. No lingo or prescriptive advice. Free one hour sessions where men get together to talk honestly, and actually be heard, in a confidential space without risk of judgment or ridicule. The right to talk should never be a privilege. Every Monday 6:30 PM for any man across the UK and online globally. See below for all HUMEN Space locations and The HUMEN Space Online.
London: 020 3488 8484 Liverpool: 0151 303 5757
Offer live-saving support to men in Liverpool and London who are in suicidal crisis
Their mission is to help men aged 18+ who are in crisis, by providing quick and free access to non-residential therapy and support. They offer an individualised person-centred intervention to men experiencing a suicidal crisis delivered over six to eight face to face sessions with a trained therapist at one of their centres in Liverpool or East London. Men can self-refer or be referred by a health professional for short and focused one to one therapy which will help them to understand and recover from a suicidal crisis. James' Place aims to open three new centres in the next few years (Birmingham, Bristol, Newcastle(Gateshead)
0808 808 8000
For anyone in N.Ireland who is in distress or despair. Immediate help on phone 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Face to face counselling can be arranged, also befriending, mentoring. Issues dealt with include suicide prevention, self harm, abuse, trauma, depression, anxiety.
Men, talking to men. Change peoples thoughts, opinions and minds about men and mental health.
Mental health videos. Educational and honest mental health podcasts that show real cases of mental illness or issues and their following success stories. Don't feel alone in your struggles with mental health or mental illness Therefore MANUP encourage you to watch their conversations for more information about how others have handled mental illness and achieved success by simply being aware of the flags. MANUP welcomes anyone who would like to join them in a mental health video or vlog, if this is you, please get in touch with MANUP
Men Matter Scotland
0141 944 7900
Facilitate activities that support positive mental, physical and emotional health and wellbeing for men.
Run weekly groups, sessions and activities, facilitated on a peer to peer basis where men can meet in a safe and friendly place, talk openly, feel supported and listened to without judgement within a confidential setting from people who are equal to you - your peers. The charity exists to promote wellbeing and to prevent suicide in men.
Most men don't get to talk about whats on their minds which can lead to depression, anxiety, poor relationships. Find friendship, self development, online discussions, social events and more
Men's Minds Matter
Information and sources of support if you are suicidal
MindTheMen are a suicide prevention peer support group where men (18+) can meet in a safe place to talk about their challenges, be listened to and feel supported. Support Groups are in the Glasgow area and also sporting and social activities are offered around the Glasgow area. Weekly zoom meetings also take place available to any man in Scotland.
Working to reduce the rate of male suicide by 25%
National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK
0800 689 5652
National helpline offering supportive listening service to anyone throughout the UK with thoughts of suicide or thoughts of self-harm. They are open 6pm to 3:30am for those aged 18 or over
0300 111 0101
Helpline providing a listening service, information, emotional and spiritual support from a Christian perspective
R;pple Suicide Prevention
R;pple is an online monitoring tool designed to present a visual page on a user's device the second they are flagged as searching for a harmful keyword or phrase highlighted within the R;pple monitoring tool configuration. Keywords and phrases include any words or termnology which have been identified as displaying potentially damaging online content. The R;pple page is presented before harmful online search results are dsplayed, and act as an interception to enourage users to visit a mental health support page from one of our charity partners as an alternative to viewing harmful online results. R;pple aims to minimise the risks of the internet, while harnessing its potential for good, by encouraging users to seek mental health support
0300 561 0115
Open Monday to Friday 9.30am-4.30pm
Local support for people facing suicide. The Community Hub provides you with a safe space to talk and someone to guide you to support services in your local area. Covering areas of Barking & Dagenham, Hackney, Waltham Forest, Havering, Newham, Redbridge, and Tower Hamlets.
Helpline: 116 123 (free of charge from a landline or mobile)
24 hr helpline offering emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide
Anxious/worried/stressed - get 24/7 help from a crisis volunteer
SOS Silence of Suicide
0808 115 1505
Striving to reduce Shame, Stigma and Silence surrounding Emotional Health & Suicide
For children and adults who need emotional support, understanding, compassion and kindness.
The OLLIE Foundation
A charity dedicated to delivering suicide awareness. Providing confidential help and advice to young people and anyone worried about a young person. Helping others to prevent young suicide by delivering a number of training programmes. Delivering online weekly mental health support sessions open and free to all young people.
In memory of Charlie Waller - awareness, information and resources for those who are depressed
For The Heart Cries: There is no medical reason why I am alive. In January 1994 I decided to kill myself and chose Sunday May 15th as the perfect date. Starting in February I kept a daily, detailed journal of what I was going through-plus my thought, reflections, fears and feelings of time past and time present. Part 1 , A Journal Towards Suicide. Part 2, A Journey Back To Life, my journey after my suicide attempt failed. CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
NHS Guide - Help for Suicidal Thoughts
Help and support if you are having suicidal thoughts
www.theblackdog.net - Supportive site for men who suffer from depression and/or suicidal thoughts
The Will Garvey Trust Foundation (WTF) was set up by the parents of Will Garvey, a young man who at the age of 20 died by suicide. The Trust Foundation raises awareness of suicide and mental health with their central mantra based on the slogan W.T.F. - Why Talking Fixes. The Foundation focuses primarily on young people 13-25 years and their support communities but they hope and intend that their resources and activities will be of relevance to anyone looking for support.
How can I help someone who is suicidal?
If someone tells you they are suicidal do not dismiss their feelings but take what you are being told seriously. If someone puts enough trust in you to confide his/her innermost feelings you really need to listen to what is being said.
A person contemplating suicide is often in enormous turmoil inside - perhaps at one moment wanting to die and the next to live. He/she needs to know that someone has listened to and heard their pain, that someone can recognise that he/she is in pain and hurting so try and empathise with the person and repeat back, acknowledge the pain and hurt they are in so the person knows you are trying to understand what they are feeling.
If the suicidal person gives you a reason for feeling this way don't dismiss it that it isn't serious enough to kill himself/herself over. The fact that the person is feeling suicidal means that in his/her mind it is serious enough to not want to live anymore.
Allow the person to talk openly about how they are feeling, how long they have been feeling this way, have they made a plan as to how they will commit suicide, what do they think will happen to them when they die, etc.
Try to encourage the person to seek professional help in order that they are giving someone the chance to explore with them what is happening for them and to see whether they can help the person to see alternatives to suicide.
Show the person you genuinely care - this can often be enough in itself to prevent the person from taking their life at that moment in time.
Remember that you can give a person caring, support, time, patience, empathy but that person may at some stage still make the choice to end their life. If you try to help someone who is suicidal and they take their life it is their responsibility and choice to do that. If someone is that determined and set on killing themselves there is not a lot anyone could do to prevent that and you must never take the guilt or blame on your shoulders. All you can do is do your best for that person but some people can have all the counselling, medical intervention, support from family, friends etc. but still make a choice to end their life.
If you are providing support to someone who is suicidal do not forget to get support for yourself as well.
Prevention of youth suicide: will help parents and carers of young people who are suicidal to make contact with appropriate sources of support. Papyrus also runs Hopeline UK 0800 068 4141 – for practical advice on suicide prevention
Rethink: How to Support Someone with Suicidal Thoughts
Online monitoring tool designed to present a visual page on a user's device the second they are flagged as searching for a harmful keyword or phrase highlighted within the R;pple monitoring tool configuration. Keywords and phrases include any words or terminology which have been identified as displaying potentialy damaging online content. The R;pple page is presented before harmful online search results are displayed, and act as an interception to encourage users to visit a mental health support page from one of our charity partners as an alternative to viewing harmful online results.
Suicide Prevention Hub. Advice and support if you are concerned about someone who is having suicidal thoughts
The Zero Suicide Alliance is a collaborative of National Health Service trusts, businesses and individuals who are all committed to suicide prevention in the UK and beyond. The alliance is ultimately concerned with improving support for people contemplating suicide by raising awareness of and promotiing FREE suicide prevention training which is accessible to all. The aims of this training are to enable people to identify when someone is presenting with suicidal throughs/behaviour to be able to speak out in a supportive manner, and to empower them to signpost the individual to the correct services or support.
Help for those bereaved by suicide
If you have lost someone through suicide the pain is unbearable and the constant question of 'why' goes round and round in your head.
It is common for anyone bereaved by suicide to blame themselves - maybe I should have given the person more time, maybe I didn't listen enough, I should have picked up on the warning signs, I had a big row with him/her before he/she committed suicide, if only I had come back home earlier, if only I hadn't gone out, if only, if only if only.
There is also so much anger - how can he/she have done that and left me. There are people who think that suicide is a cowardly thing to do and an easy way out. However, if you were able to understand the intensity of the pain that the suicidal person feels and the immense struggle they have with what they are going to do - in no way is it an easy way out.
A person who is suicidal is so overwhelmed with feelings of despair and hopelessness that the intensity of their feelings takes over everything else. At that moment in time they honestly feel that their loved ones would be better off without them, they may feel a burden or that their problems are a burden to those around them and may not be able to think rationally about what their loss would really mean to others.
You cannot live your life thinking what if I had done this or that because at the end of the day if a person is determined to commit suicide it doesn't matter how much support and help they are given - they may still feel that the pain and hurt they are feeling is so intense and overwhelming that they at that moment in time cannot see any way out of - in some cases whatever you may have done or said or may not have done or said - it still may have not made any difference to the way the person was feeling inside and to their choice to take their life.
The person who has died would not want the loved ones left behind to live their lives feeling blame, guilt, bitterness but would want their loved ones to move on with their lives. The person did what they felt was best for them at that time. The people left behind can rationalise that it wasn't the best thing to do but the suicidal person was at a stage where they could not see that for themselves and may have felt that by ending their life they were saving others around them from hurt and pain. The last thing they would have wanted to do was to cause you more hurt and pain. A person has to find an alternative way out for themselves - if they cannot see that - nobody really has a right to judge them as nobody else is feeling what they felt, nobody else could see what they could see, even if they seemed happy and coping on the outside, nobody could see what they were feeling on the inside - nobody was living their life but them.
If you have been bereaved by suicide please ensure you get as much help and support for yourself as you can. There is still, unfortunately some stigma about suicide and it is so sad that families, friends, often feel they cannot talk about the person who has died in case other people will start asking questions and not be understanding. It is something that will always be with you so make sure you surround yourself with as much support, love, care that you can in order that you are not going through life with this on your own. There are resources on the internet, helplines, counsellors who will support you and work through your feelings with you.
Agencies which provide support and information
0330 088 9255
Support following suicide covering the following areas:
Cheshire & Merseyside Lancashire, SouthYorkshire, Kent & Medway, Thames Valley, Coventry & Warwickshire, Hampshire,
Isle of Wight.
Child Death Helpline:
Helpline for anyone affected by the death of a child of any age. Advice, information, listening, befriending, referrals and face to face service by arrangement. Staffed by bereaved parents.
The Compassionate Friends:
0345 123 2304
Helpline and support services run by bereaved parents. Support to parents and their immediate families after the death of a child of any age and from any cause. Local contacts and support meetings, befriending, phone and letter contact, leaflets and publications, postal library, retreats and an annual weekend gathering. Compassionate Friends have a sub group called Shadow of Suicide for parents and families of children who have taken their own lives.
Cruse Bereavement Care:
0808 808 1677
Helpline offering listening support and practical advice related to bereavement. Puts people in touch with local Cruse branches which can provide individual and group support.
Sobs - Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide:
0300 111 5065 National Helpline Mon to Fri 9am to 9pm
National helpline and other support services run by a self help group for people bereaved by suicide. Helpline provides listening support and will put people in touch with their nearest local group. Monthly group meetings in various locations. Bereavement pack and literature for survivors. Conferences and support days.
Suicide & Co.
0800 054 8400
One to one online counselling for those bereaved by suicide.
Available to those bereaved by suicide in England and Wales, over the age of 18. The charity does not accept applications or begin counselling sessions within the first six months after your bereavement. See website for further details.
Support After Suicide Partnership
The Support After Suicide Partnership brings together suicide bereavement organisations and people with lived experience, to achieve a vision that everyone bereaved or affected by suicide is offered timely and appropriate support. The website has been developed with the help of both individuals with experience of suicide and professional bereavement organisations so you can explore practical information and find emotional support if you have been impacted by suicide.
Way Widowed and Young:
Self help support group for men and women under 50 whose partner or spouse has died. Telephone support network of local members. Email support forums.
08088 020 021
Support for bereaved children and young people.
Useful books for those bereaved by suicide
Finding the Words - how to support someone who has been bereaved and affected by suicide - PDF document
Help is at Hand - a resource for people bereaved by suicide or other unexplained death, and for those helping them. - downloadable booklet
A Special Scar – The Experiences of People Bereaved By Suicide by Alison Wertheimer - Publishers Routledge: ISBN 0415220270
Click here to read more or buy this book
Useful Websites for those bereaved by suicide
For parents and families attempting to survive after the tragedy of their child's or sibling's suicide
Help, support, information for those bereaved by suicide
A network of organisation who support people who have been bereaved by suicide.
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